When you don't know where they are...

Four days ago, someone I love went missing. Completely gone. No phone, no location, no sign. Just silence. For four days.

Those days came with shame. That quiet, heavy feeling that somehow this is my fault. My responsibility. I know that's not true but still... It just sits there, pressing down.

The moments that broke me were the decisions.. calling the police, figuring out where to look, who to call. That's when the stress hit hard.

But the in-between hours? When there was nothing to do but wait? I was calm. Genuinely, quietly calm. That calm wasn't mine. I know that. Through everything I've been through, and the trust in Him I've been building... I know that kind of peace doesn't come from me. It was from Him.

And one of those in-between hours I spent visiting my father in his nursing home, dementia, far stage, he doesn't know me anymore. It was around five o'clock... He talks, but the words don't connect to anything I recognise anymore. And still.. I sat with him. I talked back.
Quran was playing softly in the background the way it always does in his room. And in a quiet moment between his scattered words, the recitation reached me. Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 153.

"O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient."

Goosebumps. The kind that tell you... this is not a coincidence...

An hour later, at six o'clock, my phone rang.. the police.... He was found. He was safe. Alhamdulillah!!

During one of those days, I had made a du'a that I had never made before... I asked Him to send me 'Junood al-Ard wa Malaikat as-Samaa'. The soldiers of the earth and the angels of the heavens. At the time I didn't even connect it. It was only later, when I was home and he was safe and the relief had settled.. that it hit me. My family had been there the whole time. They were always my soldiers. God showed me then and there..

This. is why I wrote the journal. Not from having it figured out, but from living it. When you read it, reflect on the questions, sit with the exercises... you're discovering things about yourself. You're seeing your own patterns, your own strength, your own capacity to trust. And alongside that, you're reminded of what He is and what He can do. His promises in the Quran. The beautiful moments He's already given you. The more you see yourself reflected back  and the more you remember Him... the more you can trust His plan, His timing, His process. So when whatever comes next, you're not walking into it unprepared. You have proof. You have connection. You have trust.

xoxo,
Ley